Why Life Coaching? And Why An Emphasis on Heart Break?
Why am I so passionate about helping you achieve your dreams and happiness, along with helping people who are going through break ups? Here’s my past story that got me there…it gets really interesting…
(If it’s meant for you, it will be worth the 5 minute read, I promise.)
Well, I have been blessed with going through some of the most lovely breakups (I have no sarcasm button on my keyboard). However, I do say blessed because even though I couldn’t see it through the pain, I truly was given a blessing in disguise! Along with feeling so lost and conflicted about what I should be doing with my life, they led me to the darkest place I have ever been. And when you get to that place, the place where your soul starts to get eaten away while you’re still alive, there is no place to go…but in – to stop it and get your power back.
I’ve had the boyfriends that cheated on me, that weren’t proud of me, that acted like I didn’t exist at times. The guys that ghosted me. The guys that lied to me. I’ve had the boyfriend that had me move across the country to be with him only to break up with me over the phone six days after my arrival…with my belongings still in shipment somewhere across the country as I lived in the middle of nowhere in a room with no door on it in a friend’s house who was never home. I’ve had my “soulmate” that I lived with and out of nowhere decide he was a totally different person than what he led on to be and break up with me by just not coming home. Ever. Like I never saw him again. He’s alive, don’t worry! And with his new girlfriend while he would inappropriately text me for years after that. She got herself a keeper, huh In all honesty, I wish him more self love and her more awareness.
But there was one common denominator in all of these relationships. And that was…ME! There’s no denying that one! haha So I acknowledged the fact that if I truly wanted a change, I needed to be the one to make it. If you keep experiencing something over and over and over…chances are, the universe is telling you something and waiting for you to learn your lesson! To grow. To achieve. To succeed. To be the best version of yourself that you can be and to break the cycle that you’re in.
Now, I followed along my life coach’s, Preston Smiles, teachings for years, and I did have a lot of success, but the one thing I didn’t realize was that you can read and preach and always look for the silver lining, but it’s quite another to actually DO the work on a daily basis. As the Universe, God, whatever you would like to call it, would have it, in my ultimate darkest hours, my life coach launched a six month, super intense, deep program for the mind, body, and soul. I pretty much hadn’t worked in two months because I physically couldn’t pull myself out of bed in the mornings to do a job that society said I should do. I was dead and unfulfilled inside. With no money coming in. But there was nothing in me lighting a fire under my butt to go find another unfulfilling job. And the career that I wanted to do, that I knew would bring me so much fulfillment, society said was “too hard and not the right thing to do. I could end up homeless.”
So I slept. All the time. With no money coming in. Because even though I still knew in my darkest moment that this wasn’t the only way to live, I felt like it was so “wrong” to go out of society’s comfort zone and into my own that I allowed myself to fall victim to those beliefs. Instead of doing SOMETHING, I felt so unfulfilled, scared, and lost that I choose to do NOTHING. I felt suffocated and trapped. So when that course popped up, something came over me, I felt compelled and drawn to it and I had to do it. I didn’t know how much it would cost and I didn’t care. I knew my happiness was worth a million dollars so I applied, opened a new credit card, and decided to change my life for good. I got deep guys. Along with all the intense self work I committed myself to on this new journey, I didn’t drink, eat chocolate, hit the snooze button, bite my nails, apologize for no reason (I used to apologize for breathing sometimes), I didn’t talk to my mom, and I started a more healthy lifestyle – for 3 months!
And now here I am, happier than I have EVER been! Was it mentally, emotionally, physically, and financially challenging? Was it the least amount of fun I have ever had in my life? Was it worth it? YES. YES. YES. All over it! My life is flipped upside down and right side up, on the path that I always knew I was on but couldn’t quite figure out how to stay on it.
**For 3 years, I needed 3-5 hour naps a day. I would collapse into complete lethargy out of nowhere. Like it got to the point where it took everything in my body to turn my steering wheel left one day. I called my mom sobbing. I had been to multiple doctors, had blood tests done, everything would come back “normal” to the doctors but that was not my normal way of being, I’m a high energy person! I decided to start seeing a functional medicine doctor to do further lab tests and study my results from a holistic approach. I got my lab results back. Good bacteria in your digestive tract should be at about 120-280 units, mine were 12. My adrenals were almost depleted. And my hormones almost completely diminished. I was put on supplements that lined the length of my counter. I had moments of higher energy, but the lags were almost getting worse. I didn’t know what else to do. And then suddenly, because of creating my program for others going through break ups, I had a realization! I never dealt with my ex-boyfriend breaking up with me by just not coming home. What the—??
I have always worn my heart on my sleeve, but in that particular situation, I didn’t realize that I wasn’t. I needed to move out in a week, find my own bachelorette pad, and keep my sh*t together so I could deposit the checks he owed me every other week for two months. I couldn’t find it in myself to get mad, he was such a “nice guy” and if I got mad, he could stop paying me back what he owed me. So, apparently, I shoved it down. Way down. For 3 years. – OOP! There it is! THREE years. The same amount of time I needed 3-5 hour long naps every day. In that moment, I finally realized I was feeling sad about the break up for pretty much the first time. But then some of my coaching colleagues encouraged me to play with anger. “I’m not angry,” I insisted, “He was a good guy.” But I took the advice and I tried anyway. And oh- my- go-. I was soooooo angry! I had no idea!!! Where did that come from?! I then felt hypocritical for owning my company, BURN, how could I create something to get over break ups when I am still upset about one of mine?!
But then…the beauty happened. This was proof how necessary this program is for others. This was the one break up I didn’t actually deal with. Not on purpose. I had to be so strong in that traumatic experience that I actually thought I was fine and over it. I got to do BURN as an actual client, first-hand, to make sure that it works. And my experience was, yes, it definitely does. The day after I acknowledged my true feelings (which was not fun) and started BURN, I didn’t need naps anymore! I’m not kidding! Heartbreak, guys! Heartbreak! And stress! And sadness. And depression. And feeling of unworthiness. And regret for not standing up for myself because I was living too much out of fear and denial to do so. Depleted adrenals, almost nonexistent hormones, missing almost all good bacteria in my digestive tract and needing 3-5 hour naps every day…was the result of allowing one tiny person in this ginormous universe to subconsciously control my health. My LIFE. This is what bottling up emotions will do to you, and THIS is why it is so important to take care of them in a healthy manner.
How many dates or exes have you been with that weren’t emotionally available or emotionally confident? How many didn’t seem to be over their ex or just totally shut down? A LOT of people haven’t dealt with this sh*t, and it leads to THAT! And it’s time we start to deal with it to so we can be open to more happiness in our lives and allow others in, loving us for us!
So I say thank you to these “crazies,” my ”teachers…” Because they led me to you–and to so many other individuals around the world that are in similar situations and looking for someone like me to help them. I have learned more about myself, who I am, and where I am going than I could have ever imagined. They have pushed me to fully emerge myself into my passions. And one of the biggest lessons I have learned over all, is your gut is always right. My intuition knew on my first encounter with each of these guys that they were not my soulmate, yet I was so in love with being in love, and didn’t have much self love, that I didn’t listen. Yes, I am currently single, but it is for multiple reasons. I chose to take a break from dating for awhile to truly know myself, love myself, learn what I truly desire in a significant other, and deal with situations that I didn’t know were holding me back from when I was younger, I had a company to build, and guess what…I no longer settle for a gut feeling that is not in alignment with “he’s the one.” – No matter how cute he is He’s out there and we will meet when we are meant to meet. If I always knew when it wasn’t the one, then tada!- I will know when it IS the one! And THAT is such a refreshing feeling!
I am here for you. I am your cheerleader. And I am SO excited to help you get on your journey to the other side!
Bottoms up…it’s gonna be one helluva wild ride! See you soon!